Is It An I Do or I Don’t?

Marriage is a hard decision for couples to make – more so, for couples who’ve formed their relationships online. Marriage, after all, is a lifelong commitment. It’s a promise to journey through life as one unit – through good times and bad.

But before you even get to this stage, it is crucial to find the right partner. In online dating, options are abundant but it is exactly because of the wide availability of choices that make it harder to find rare gems. It is in cases like this that the concept of ‘the more the merrier’ doesn’t apply.

So, how can you tell when an “I do” becomes an “I don’t”? Here are four obvious signs you should carefully note:

You’re Just Not That Into Him

There is a pretty solid difference between ‘He’s the one’ and ‘He’ll do.’ Just like how some dishes would taste okay and others would taste delicious! Certain situations often lead us into making forced decisions. Like, how we are sometimes pressed with time, inconvenience, or societal standards.

Don’t settle for anything less than what you believe you deserve in life. Don’t let other people decide what’s best for you. If you think he’s not Mr. Right, then he probably isn’t.

You’re Not Meeting Eye-to-Eye

If what’s going on for you and your current online partner is nothing more than mere attraction, then it’s probably not the time to ring those wedding bells. You’re into different things, enjoy different hobbies, and have conflicting interests. If the only thing that makes you both going is momentary passion, then you’re bound to meet irreconcilable differences over the course of your marital relationship. And when worse comes to worst, you’ll go your separate ways anyway. Save yourself the trouble and find someone who’s really compatible with you – just like how peanut butter is to jelly.

You Have Different Priorities

You can be very invested in a relationship. But when the other party isn’t, you’ll likely encounter a lot of relationship troubles along the way. And I don’t mean that in a ‘teenage romance drama’ kind of way.

Say, you get married. You both agreed on settling down and have a family of your own. You decided to leave the high life to fully dedicate yourself to your family. He didn’t. It just so happens that his priorities are incompatible with yours. You’ll end up squabbling and arguing, until you finally call off the marriage. If only you’ve paid close attention to behavior signals, you could’ve avoided such a fiasco. So I’m telling you right here and now, that it is possible to detect such inconsistencies early on the relationship. If you both have differing priorities, maybe it’s time to call it quits.

Call me a pessimist, a ball of negative energy, or any other name you deem fit. But just so you know, I personally adore romance. I love being loved and I love seeing other people love. But above everything else, I’m also very realistic. I know how love builds and how it destroys. Take this article as a simple reminder of how heavy the words “I do” mean. It’s not just “I do take you as my husband or wife.” It’s also,

“I do understand the terms of this commitment.”

“I do know that this means forever.” And,

“I do have what it takes to stay with you until the end of time.”

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